From losing precious time with Brian because of the overwhelming demands of earning his master's degree (and now his Ph.D.), to packing up and moving to a (well, not-so) new city yet again, to spending a few months unemployed and overwhelmed, my patience and faith have definitely been tested to the limit.
And yet, through it all, there were some glimpses of positivity and grace from others that I'm not sure I deserved, but gave me something I feared I'd lost:
Hope.
These random acts of kindness came from the unlikeliest of sources: friends (old and new), family, former colleagues, even strangers on the street.
Now, you might be reading that list and saying to yourself, "Well, duh, of COURSE friends and family will help you out!"
And that's very true - however, I have a history of being fiercely independent, have been from a very young age. The earliest example is when my mom took me to "Mommy & Me" fitness classes at the YMCA when I was two or three. All of the other children stayed glued next to their mother's sides. And where was I? Across the room, scooting around on my knees, exploring the unknown with an air of "I can TOTALLY take on this world ALL...BY...MYSELF!"
This attitude (good or bad, depends on your outlook) has helped carry me over some challenging times, but it also had an unwelcome side-effect: I'm unwilling to accept or ask for help. I don't like to be a burden (nor be "in-debt" to anyone), and I'm of the mindset that I'm an adult - if I got into any mess I can claw my way back out. By myself. No help needed here, but thanks for checking in!
Over the past year, however, I realized that I was put into some situations where I needed some extra assistance. Again, my fierce stubbornness and need for independence prevented me from outright asking for it.
So, what did these gracious people do? They offered their help on a silver platter, no strings attached. And then I did something crazy:
I accepted it.
Maybe it was the years of being worn down that finally did it, or the wisdom that comes with age that sometimes I just can't do it all by myself - either way, I knew I needed an extra pick-me-up so I went with it. Sometimes when life gives you some crappy lemons, you need to accept some sugar from others, and there's no shame in that.
Since it's the start of the new year (fresh beginnings and all that jazz), and my yearly life forecast is looking sunnier, I'm making it my mission to pay their kindness forward. Because, to me at least, a heartfelt "Thank You" only goes so far...as they say, it's not what we say, but what we do that ultimately defines us.
And, because a post is never a post without a photo or two....
Here's a couple ways I've been keeping cozy while the weather outside has been busy being frightful.
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